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For years getting engaged has always been something to put a lot of effort and thought into.  Traditionally, the gentleman was required to speak to the Brides Father and request her hand in marriage. 

We want to hear about your engagement.  Where, When, How?  Were you surprised?

Share your story below…

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Sailing into love…

My husband and I enjoy sailing and participate in regattas. We were getting our sail up on our boat, when I noticed a message painted on it. The message said will you marry me?

-anonymous (Buffalo, NY)

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Share in the Engagement experience of  the Host of the children’s podcast Night Light Stories.  Subscribe for free on iTunes or listen to the free stories at www.nightlightstories.blogspot.com.

Our engagement story. “He is a true romantic and I was so blessed to have a man to put this much time, dedication, thought and love into this proposal. His whole being of who he is encompasses this story.  A TRULY AMAZING, PATIENT, LOVING, THOUGHTFUL MAN!”

By the way, everyone we tell this story to says “Wow, you put up with this all summer?”. I loved every second of it!

On the last day of our school year, I pulled into our parking spot at our apartment. I walked in and there was a recorder there that gave me instructions on how to start up the projector that was on our table.  I worked through the instructions and came to a video Chris made for me. He went on about how beautiful I was, how he was ready for what everyone called the “Next Step” in our relationship.  We never saw it as a step though, just the where our hearts led us to go.  As I sat there sobbing uncontrollably alone in the apartment, he then explained that this was just the beginning of something exciting for the summer. All summer, we would have adventures and during some of these adventures I would receive pieces to a puzzle. On one side of the piece there would be a word that had something to do with marriage. I was to think about that word for the time I had the piece and reflect if this was something I could do the rest of my life with him.  On the other side of the piece was part of a message. At the end of the summer, when all 12 pieces were collected, I would put the puzzle together and read the message. So, then he had put together of collage and at the end he titled it “The Summer of Love”. I met him that night at a restaurant that we loved.  When I met him there, he gave me my first piece, FRIEND.  The summer continued like this:

After a great day at King’s Dominion with our good friends, I received a FRIEND piece.

When my family came to visit, we took them out to dinner at our favorite Italian place to eat and under my plate was a FAMILY piece.

We went and got tattoos and after mine was completed he gave me a FOREVER piece.

While I was teaching summer school, he surprised me with lunch and a SUPPORT piece.

I arrived home from teaching summer school and he had made a whole dinner menu and called it the Puzzlero , decorated our porch and made a special meal to which he gave me the HOME piece.

We went to a wonderful Reggae wine festival with friends and he gave me the SHARING piece.

He took me to a new town that we had never visited in our area and gave me the NEW piece.

We went tubing down a little creek off the Shenandoah River and he gave me the ADVENTURE piece.

He took me to an Improv Comedy Club in DC and gave me the LAUGHTER piece.

We got a new mattress for our bed in our new home and on the mattress was the INTIMACY piece.

The last day of our summer vacation, I arrived home from a day out. There was another video set up in the apartment instructing me to meet him at the place that we first met.  I walked in the doors and he was pacing in the gymanasitorium We met at a staff training center where he currently works.  He kissed and hugged me and handed me the last piece.  It said LOVE. I put the puzzle together, and the other side said “WILL YOU MARRY ME?”  I had prepped for this moment and had made my own mini puzzle you buy at the craft stores. It read “YES”, but I had to make him sweat it out for a few minutes and yes, I made him put the whole puzzle together.  It was an awesome experience.  So much fun and I was sorry to see the Summer of Love come to an end.  However, I was looking forward to our life and journey as a married couple so much more. 

Almost 6 years later and I fall deeper in love with him every day! He is my dream come true!

 Thanks for letting me share this!  Take care, Mel

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It was Christmas morning.  My boyfriend and I went to my parents house that morning to celebrate.  The time came for gift opening.  There was a HUGE box under the tree.  I’m talking huge, I think I could’ve fit inside it with room to spare.  Anyways, the box was to me.  I open it and inside is a bunch of shredded paper.  I’m thinking, great, right?  What the heck is this about? 

Then, I noticed there was writing on each piece of paper.  So, I started reading… “Julie, will you marry me?” on every piece of paper.  Wow, I started crying and couldn’t believe it.  I kept digging, I don’t know why. Down in the bottom was a dozen long stem red roses, rose petals and a small open box containing the most gorgeous diamond ring I have ever seen.  I looked at my boyfriend with tears in my eyes and screamed “YES!”  

            We have been married for 15 years! 

Signed:   Jen  (New Jersey)

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 So, you want to hear my story?  Okay, here goes…

 My boyfriend, at the time, and I were dating for 1 year and I didn’t think he was ever going to ask me.  We went on  a vacation to Disney.  We ate at Cinderella’s Castle.  I am such  a huge fan of Cinderella. 

 Dinner was delicious but we weren’t ready for it to end.  So, we ordered dessert. 

 The dessert comes out on  a tray, being carried by Cinderella, herself.  So excited that Cinderella was coming to my table I didn’t notice that my boyfriend was trying to get my attention.  I didn’t see him next to me. 

 Finally, I turned and saw him on one knee.  Cinderella  was getting closer to our table.  I was stunned, I knew what was coming.  My boyfriend says the words I’ve been hoping to hear, “Jenny, will you marry me?” 

 I jumped up in excitement, screaming yes, yes, yes!  At the same time my arms flew up to hug him, I bumped the tray being carried by Cinderella.  The tray and dessert go flying…

 Finally, everyone calms down and I ask, “Where’s the ring?”  My boyfriend says, “It was the dessert.” 

Signed: Michelle  (Buffalo)

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 Okay, so I had been dating my boyfriend for 1 ½ yrs.  He decided to surprise me with calling me in to work sick and insisting I take a day off.  He claimed he just wanted to spend some time with me since he works nights and I work days. 

 We drove up to Niagara Falls and went on the Maid of the Mist.  We spent the day by the Falls.  It was wonderful! 

 Night time came and the lights lit up the falls.  We were standing by the Falls when a Barber Shop Quartet approaches us singing.  How lovely I thought.  They were singing, “How do I live Without You”.  The one gentleman was carrying a bouquet of red roses.  My boyfriend approached him and took the roses, I thought he was purchasing one. 

He turned to me, got down on one knee and recited all the wonderful things he loves about me and why.  He confirmed how he would take care of me for the rest of our lives, would I Marry him. 

Of course I said Yes.  We have set the date for July of 2010.

Signed:  Jen (Buffalo)

Choose from a variety of flower designs to enhance your Wedding announcement, Save the Date, Shower Invitation or Wedding Invitation. 

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Polish customs

Engagement

In Polish weddings the celebrations may continue for two or three days. In the past, the engagement ceremony was organized by the future groom as a formal family gathering, during which he asked his chosen lady to marry him. There was once a time when the union of a man and woman was more of a business deal than a union of true love.  Women who hoped to marry were expected to possess a tremendous  a fortune, small or large.  The women were expected to bring valuable possessions or worth to the marriage.  This wealth was referred to as a dowry consisting of money, jewelry, a deed to a  piece of property or other tangible items.    A poor young woman without a thing to bring to a marriage was overlooked when another woman had a substantial dowry.    The Feast of St. Nicholas on December 6, celebrates the life of a man who helped three young women receive a dowry.  Legend has it that an impoverished nobleman had three daughters who remained unmarried because he  could not provide them with dowries.  St. Nicholas, after hearing about this, took gold pieces from his coffers and on the night of December 5th, threw them into the window of the house.  Starting with the eldest daughter he continued this gesture.  In essence, he gave them a dowry and they were able to marry.  This was the beginning of the special fund referred to as the coffer of St. Nicholas.    This dowry fund continued until 1932.   The young man in search of a wife, often sought to improve his social and financial status.  The woman were expected to bring their dowry, including clothes for herself and other items useful in establishing a home.  Hence, a Hope Chest was established.  Originally referred to as a dowry chest.  The oldes type of Hope chests in Polan date back to the fifteenth century. 

Hope Chest Items:

Table Linen, Table Linens for Serving Coffee, Blankets & Bedding, Bed Linen, Towels, Silver cutlery pieces, Everyday silver cutlery, Glassware & Personal clothing.

Betrothal: 

Once agreements of marriage were made, a small party or engagement celebration was held to officially announce the betrothal.  This was usually held on a Saturday evening at the home of the bride.  The betrothal was considered very serious, synonymous to being married.

In ancient traditions, before rings, there was the blessing of joined hands over a loaf of bread.  This symbolic rite was called zrekowiny, “hand binding” ceremony.  The table was covered with the best white tablecloth in the home. The bread was placed upon the table and the bride & grooms hands were joined together over the bread.   Their hands were then bound together with an embroidered towel made specially for the occasion. 

 In the recent years this custom has changed and today an engagement is much more personal and intimate. An elegant dinner party afterwards is still a nice way to inform the closest family members about the couples’ decision to get married.

Rings:

Stones were associated with certaind beliefs and extroardinary powers. 

amethysts – protected the wearer against drunkenness.

chrysolite – chased away nightmares

pearls – helped to relieve melancholy

garnets – gave joy to the heart

topaz – soothed anger

One of the oldest symbols of plighted troth from the Renaissance period in Poland  was the “hand in hand” setting.    Crafted in gold or silver.  When clasped together on the wedding day with the engagement ring, on the finger it revealed two hands clasped together.  A symbol of the marriage union. 

Placed upon the 4th finger of the left hand as it was believed that a vein in thus finger led directly to the heart.  However during the fifteenth century, the ring was placed upon the 4th finger og the right hand.  This became a tradition.

In some regions of Poland the tradition to invite the wedding guests in person is still upheld. Many young couples, accompanied by the parents, visit their family and friends to hand them the wedding invitations personally.

According to the old tradition a groom arrives with his parents at the house of a bride just before the wedding ceremony. At that time both parents and parents-in-law give a young couple their blessing. The couple enter the church together and walks up to the altar followed by two witnesses and the parents. In Poland it is quite unusual for the bride to be walked down the aisle or to have bridesmaids and groomsmen in a wedding. The couple is assisted by two witnesses, a man (usually grooms’ side) and a woman (usually brides’ side) who are either family members or close friends.

Wedding Bouquet:

In old traditions, the bride carried a beautifully bound prayer book given to her as a gift from her groom, or perhaps  a rosary, in place of flowers.  However, in the 1830’s the bouquet became popular.

Traditionally, the wedding flowers were purchased by the groom.  The Church flowers usually consisted of red & white carnations. Red & White being the Polish colors.

The Brides also wore wreaths of myrtle, rosemary and roses over the veil.  The wearing of the wreath on one’s wedding day is a Polish tradition that was continued for over a thousand years.  It was customary for young, unmarried girls to wear wreaths in their hair for almost all special occasions, such as church and local dances.  The wreath was a symbol of the unmarried, virginal state.  The Bride weaves her wedding wreath on the Maiden Evening (night before wedding) in front of her attendants. 

The groom & goomsmen wore a boutonniere made from myrtle and tied with a white ribbon.

Church Ceremony:

Originally the groomsmen & bridesmaids of Poland entered the church first and made an arch with their hands, the bride and groom would pass through on their way to the alter.  Each pair of attendants following behind through the arch until only one remained, the last pair joining hands and followed everyone else down the aisle.  The bride & groom knelt in the center of the sanctuary.  Bridesmaiids & groomsmen paired off behind and to the left & right with the youngest attendants staying behind them, centered behind the bride & groom.  A white cloth was placed under the couple’s feet as a sign of recognition. 

After the wedding ceremony, the newly married couple faces the congregation and exits the church as man & wife.    However, before departing the church, the newly married young woman visits the altar of the Blessed Virgin Mary.  Before the congregation stands, the prelude to Ave Maria is begun.  It is at this time when the Bride receives the special bouquet of white lilies, a symbol of the Blessed Virgin Mary, from her Maid of Honor.  She slowly walks to the altar placing the bouquet and kneeling at the foot of the altar to pray with bowed head.    She prays for health of her new family and vows to be a good mother to her future children.    Upon conclusion of the Ave Maria the bride unites with her new husband and faces the congregation to begin leaving the church.  The bridesmaids and groomsmen line up across each other creating a color guard for the newly weds to walk past.  

The Polish bride traditionally wears a white dress and a veil. The groom, on the other hand usually wears a fitted suit with a bow tie and a boutonnière that matches the brides’ bouquet. During the ceremony wedding rings are exchanged and both the husband and wife wear them on their right hand. When they leave the church the guests toss wheat, rye or oat grains as a symbol that they may always have plenty, especially bread. Nobles and monarchs customarily tossed coins at the married couple for good and prosperous future together.

Once all the guests have showered the couple with kisses, hugs and flowers everyone heads to the reception. It is a custom in Poland to prepare “passing gates” on the way to the reception for the newlyweds, who in order to pass have to give the “gate keepers” some vodka. This is a misinterpretation of an earlier tradition, when the “passing gates” were built when the bride was an orphan and money collected by “gate keepers” from the guests was handed over to the bride as her dowry (being orphan implied usually poverty).

The married couple is welcomed at the reception place by the parents with bread and salt. The bread symbolizes the prosperity, salt stands for hardship of life, the parents wish the young couple that they never go hungry and learn how to deal with every day hardships together. The wedding party lasts (and the bride and groom remain) until the last guest leaves, usually until morning.

Reception:

 Most common about the feast is simply that the guests lack for nothing.  Meats, fish, sweets and spirits such as beer, wine and vodka are very common amongst the choices.  According to old Polish traditions, the wedding feast should have at least ten different items on the menu.

Oczepiny: The Unveiling and Capping Ceremony

The most significant custome associated with a Polish wedding, the Czepek, the cap of the married woman , was placed upon the head of a young Polish bride.  One of the most important and oldest Polish wedding custom.  Removing of the veil (unveiling) and the placing of the cap (capping) is a rite-of-passage from young woman to married woman.  By removal of her veil or wreath and the placement of a cap or bonnet, she enters the ranks of married women.  Traditionally, the cap was made by the brides Godmother.  There are many different variations of the cap throughout history.  The most common used nowadays is a round cap that pins upon the head.  Usually made out of  satin or lace.

This takes place late into the evening after some music and dancing have comenced.  The Bride sits in the middle of the dance floor facing the guests.  The maid of honor, usually designated to do the honors, stood behind the bride.  The maid of honor was sometimes helped by the bride’s new mother-in-law.    Single girls stood next to and behind the bride and maid of honor to lend support.  Married women lit small candles and surrounded the bride and her single friends while the veil was removed and joined in signing.  The band/music begins and the maid of honor starts removing pins holding the veil or wreath in place.    Very popular in the United States is the Twelve Angels Song, (Rosnie Trawka – The Grass Grows), or (Dwanas’cie Listeczek – Twelve Leaflets).  As soon as the wreath or veil is removed from the brides head, the bride is surrounded by the unmarried girls who sing.    As the cap is placed upon the brides head, she is accepted into the circle of married woman, officially becoming a married woman. 

Money Dance:

In Poland  the czepek dance took place after the oczepiny ceremony in country weddings.  Guests pay money for the privilege of dancing with  the bride.    when the groom paid for the privilege of a dance with his new wife, it signaled their exit from the festivities.  Festivities continued long after the bride & groom departed. 

Wedding Cake:

A wheat cake or biscuit was baked and broken.  The first bites eaten by the bride and groom.  The remainder of cake was broken over the bride’s head.  Guests gathered up the crumbs and ate them.  The cake was made with wheat flour as a symbol of fertility and the earht’s abundance.  Meant to guarantee the bride and groom a life of prosperity and many children. 

Bouquet toss:

Although this custom has become more modern, the tossing of the bouquet, traditionally – since the bride did not carry a bouquet, she tossed her veil to the bridesmaids.  The bridesmaid whom caught it would be the next to marry. 

More on Polish Wedding Traditions: http://www.polishamericancenter.org/Customs_Frame.htm

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Add some Napkins to your Celebration.  A moment to never forget!

White Beverage Napkin

Primrose Yellow Beverage Napkin

White Beverage Napkin

Frosted Cub Bag

With the exception of capias and bride dolls, there are no real different wedding traditions.  Weddings can be created to perceive a Puerto Rican Aura.  Some of the things that can by utilized to create such an image are; coqui, orchids, tropics, palm trees, seashells, Tainos, guitars, coconuts, rum, pig roast, and amapolas.    These will remind others of Isla del Encanto.

Traditionally, the wedding party was held in the bride’s parents house or yard, since there were no ballrooms or banquet halls.

Large bulbs of light were strung outside in the yard, in the trees.  Servind all Puerto Rican foods and desserts.  With the wedding cake made of coconut, rum or pineapple flavoring.  Traditionally the “brindis” was made using coconut cups.  the bride and groom may drink espresso using coconut cups.  This is more of a ritual.Capias was attached to ribbons that hung from the bridal bouquet.  These were given to all the guests.  At the reception the bride and groom cut off the capias from the bougquet and pin them on the guests.  A piece of “abeto” fern (spiny fern used in weddings) was attached to the capia and the capia sat in the middle of the fern.  The capias included a piece of folded narrow ribbon printed with the bride and groom’s names on one end and the date of the wedding on the other.

Bridal Bouquet:

Made using wild flowers of Puerto Rico, amapolas, flamboya’n flowers and margaritas.  Among this may also be orchids.  A fan may also be included, as they were a traditional part of a woman’s attire.

Bridesmaids:

May carry a fan and an amapola (maybe a silk amapola) – the flor maga, similar to an amapola, is the official flower of Puerto Rico.

To add romance, during the ceremony, play a tape of coqui’ sounds low for background.

The Doll:

Traditionally, it is customary for a doll, dressed similar to the bride, to be placed at the head of the main table.  This can be a Barbie or a larger doll, dressed in a wedding dress to match the brides.  The “bride doll” is covered with little charms to be given to the guests as gifts. 

For the Bride and Groom dance  they may chose a danza criolla, a Puerto Rican waltz. 

Wedding Ceremony:

While performing the wedding ceremony, the Priest blesses a plate of coins and gives them to the groom.  After wedding vows are exchanged, the groom gives the plate of coins to his bride.  She keeps them as a wedding gift from her husband.  The gift of coins represent good luck and prosperity for newlyweds.

 Italian customs

Serenade: In some parts of Italy, on the night before the wedding,  a party known as a Serenade, is thrown outside of the bride’s home by the groom. His family and friends come and wait for the bride, entertaining themselves until she appears. The groom then sings to his bride to further seduce her. Once his song is sung, the grooms family and friends are invited by the parents of the bride for a buffet.

Sposa Bagnata, Sposa Fortunata:  “Wet Bride, Lucky Bride”, a tradition indicating that if it rains on your wedding day, you will have a very fortunate marriage.  The rain symbolizing abundance and good luck spilling over onto the new family.

Di Venere e di Marte Ne’si Sposa ne’si Parte:  “On Friday and Tuesdays one does not marry and one does not depart”.  Tuesdays are known as the day of the God of war “Mars”.  Friday is known to the Cabala as the day evil spirits had been created.  Other countries exclaim Friday is the most romantic day, as it is under protection of Venus, the God of love and harmony.

The Mirror:  It is custom that the groom should never see the bride’s dress and the bride, on her wedding day, should not look  at herself in the mirror.  Unless a shoe or a glove is removed before attempting this.

The Wedding Procession:  Some villages of Italy still practice this custom of the groom walking the bride and the wedding party to the church.  Objects shuch as a broom may be encountered along the way.  The bride picks up the broom to symbolize that she will keep a clean home.  A crying baby would be comforted by the bride to illustrate she will be a good mother.

Borsa:  A satin pouch, carried by the bride during the reception, to hold gifts of money received.  This pouch is guarded by the bride’s grand-mother during the festivities.

The Wedding Bouquet: In Italy the groom buys the bouquet for the bride.

Per Cen’tanni: “for a hundred years” A toast given by the best-man, then drinks are passed aroung by the best-man.

Bomboniera:  paper confettis and/or white sugar coated almonds illustrating purity.  Rice is usually thrown upon the bride & groom after they are wed.  This is for a sign of abundance and prosperity.  White dove couples are also sometimes released to signify the joy and bond of the new couple.

Shattered Plate:  As the wedding ceremony concludes, the bride and groom traditionally smash a plate together.  The number of pieces broken signifies the number of years of happy marriage to be enjoyed as husband and wife.

It is also traditional for the grooms family to give a dowry to the bride and to provide the engagement ring. The bride’s family is then responsible for receiving the guests of the wedding in their home for a reception afterward.

The color green is very important in the Italian wedding. In Italy, the tradition of something blue is replaced with something green. This color brings good luck to the married couple. The veil and bridesmaids also were important in an Italian wedding. The tradition began in Ancient Rome when the veil was used to hide the bride from any spirits that would corrupt her and the bridesmaids were to wear similar outfits so that the evil spirits were further confused.

An old Roman custom was that brides threw nuts at rejected suitors as they left the ceremony.

In Sicilian customs, the dessert course is often presented as a Venetian Table, a dazzling array of pastries, fruits, coffees, cakes, (etc) presented in great quantity with much celebration. This is often called Venetian Hour.

After dessert, more dancing commences, gifts are given, and the guests eventually begin to leave. In Southern Italy, as the guests leave, they hand envelopes of money to the bride and groom, who return the gift with a wedding favor, a small token of appreciation.

The night before the wedding, two unmarried young women (sign of purity) prepare the bed. 

Throwing the bouquet, the girl who catches the bouquet will soon receive a marriage proposal.  Traditionally, the bouquet was made of orange blossoms representing abundance, happiness and prosperity.

Threshhold: Holding the bride in your arms while you pass by the new house was done to avoid the bride from tripping which would be bad luck.  Dates back to Roman times, they believed Divine spirits did not want to welcone the bride into the new home should she trip.

 more on Italian Traditions:

 http://blog.chateauandvillaweddings.com/italy/wedding-customs-and-traditions-of-italy

(Work in Progress- please visit frequently for updates)

You’re getting Married and now you need to plan your Wedding.  What does that mean?  Wedding?  A Wedding is a ceremony performed to unite two people in marriage or similar unification.  Most wedding ceremonies take place as a formal celebration.  However, in some states it is required by law to obtain a marriage license first.  The wedding ceremony is usually conducted by an authority figure such as a Judge or a leader such as a Priest,  Pastor or Rabbi.  Some ceremonies are done by enlopement where others are publicly proclaimed.

The couple to be wed speak vows of proclamation accompanied by an exchange of a gift, usually wedding bands.  Certain cultures may give different forms of symbolic gifts, such as flowers or money.

The Bride is usually adorned in a wedding garment such as a gown or Bridal dress.   The Groom usually in a tuxedo or suit.  

The Wedding Ceremony is followed up by a reception to celebrate with family and friends.  Wedding Receptions vary in theme.  The most common includes a form of receiving line or announcement of the Bridal Party, Cocktails, dinner and dancing. Although, the Wedding/Marriage ceremonies are somewhat similar, traditions and cultures celebrate with different customs.

What’s Common Among all Cultures?

Adopted from the traditional Western custom is wearing a white dress/gown.  The white gown illustrates the purity of the Bride to be.   A face veil is also sometimes worn.  The wearing of a veil indicates virginity.

Wedding bands or rings given during the ceremony illustrate perfection and never ending love by its circular shape.  Traditionally, the wedding bands are given during the wedding ceremony uniting the couple with love, faithfulness and commitment to their union of marriage.

Common among the Wedding reception is the ritual of Best Man Toast of the Newly weds, first dance as husband an wife and the all to favorite cutting / sharing of the wedding cake. 

• UKRAINIAN WEDDING CEREMONY called “vinchannia” is filled with symbolism and tradition. 
• POLISH WEDDING CEREMONY
• ITALIAN WEDDING CEREMONY
• TRADITIONAL PUERTO RICAN WEDDING

A Ukrainian wedding ceremony called “vinchannia” is filled with symbolism and tradition.  In the Ukrainian Catholic Church, marriage is a sacrament in which a man and a woman solemnly declare before Christ and in the presence of the priest, family and congregation their love and faithfulness to one another for life.

Parental Blessing, the “Blahoslovenia” or blessing of the bride and groom by the parents is performed before the church ceremony to formally convey their approval and good wishes.  The Parental blessing has biblical roots and recalls the royal priesthood of every baptized person.  Parents bless their adult children to impart wisdom, and to invoke ancestors and saints to be present at this moment to ask for God’s blessings on the about to be married couple.    It may be done separately for the bride at the home of the parents and for the groom at the home of his parents or it may be combined.  The to be married couple ask their parents to bestow a blessing upon them for a long, healthy, happy and prosperous life.  It is at this time that the two families become as one.

Wedding Icon or Icons - Parents bless their children on this important life journey holding an icon or icons.  After the parents’ invocation, the bride and groom cross themselves and kiss the icons.  Then the icons are carried reverently into the church and placed on the tetrapod or held by the “starosty” (wedding elders).  This is the first wedding gift, which afterwards the newlyweds place prominently in the home or an icon corner to serve as spiritual center of the household.

The Betrothal Services is celebrated in the narthex (vestibule), before the doors of the Church.  It consists of a series of short petitions, blessing of the rings and a concluding prayer.  The couple to be crowned in marriage and their attendants assemble in the narthex and the clergy go out to meet them. It is kept separate from the Crowning service.  In the EarlyChurch this was a civil ceremony which was followed with a church service.  Today it is part of the Order of Crowning, a full liturgical service.

The rings - are visible signs of the commitment, faith, and love the couple have for one another.  The essential meaning of the rings is beautifully expressed in the prayers the priest recites with references to rings in the Sacred Scriptures.  The priest makes the sign of the cross with the ring of the bride over the bridegroom and with that of the bridegroom over the bride, as he blesses the rings.

The Entrance into the church – The priest takes the censer and leads the couple before the tetrapod.  The Entrance itself may symbolize the entrance of marriage from the world into the church: into the world to come.

Candles - are held by the couple throughout the service.  Candles symbolize the lamps of the five wise virgins who, because of their foresight, were able to go out and greet the Bridegroom & Christ with light.  We too, are called upon to do the same.

Ritual Cloth (Rushnyk) - is an oblong white cloth decorated with Ukrainian embroidery.  Rushnyky - in plural is a ceremonial towel.  It’s usage attributes special respect.  When draped over an icon, it shows reverence to holy things.  Two rushnyky are needed for the marriage ceremony.    The first, on which the couple stands, symbolizes the newness of their married life, and the sacredness of time and place where they now stand.  The second rushnyk is used to join their hands,  to symbolize their oneness in marriage. After the ceremony, the rushnyky are given to the Bride and Bridegroom for their new home.

The Holy Icons - The Ukrainian tradition calls for the blessing of the married couple with the Icons of Jesus Christ and the Holy Virgin Mary.  They are adorned with embroidereed cloths or “rushnyky” and are carried into the church by the godparents and placed on the tetrapod for the priest to bless during the ceremony.  They are given to the bride and bridegroom to symbolize the approval of the union and the desire for them to lead a rich and full Christian life.  The Icons also serve as a reminder that in prayer the betrothed received their blessing and as a married couple, they must remain in prayer throughout their lives.  Afterwards, the Icons are placed in their home and serve as a spiritual center of the household. 

The Crowning – is the most solemn moment of the marriage service.  The wreaths, or crowns are placed on the heads of the couple.   The priest proclaims: “Lord our God, crown them with glory and honor!” (Psalm 8:5) The entire psalm is a hymn to dignity of man who was created by God to be master of creation, king and queen of the kingdom of heaven on earth.  In the Early Church these crowns were worn for eight days.  Now they are removed at the end of the service.  The symbolism of wreaths and crowns are similar.   Wreaths remind the rewards of winning a mighty challenge.  The crowns have dual symbolism – the young couple are crowned as rulers of the most basic cell of society, the family.  They are also crowned as martyrs (Greek for witness), for as the martyrs of the Church, they are witnesses to the truth of Christ even to the point of death, and like the martyrs, the young couple will also bear witness to their love for each other no matter the cost.

Ceremonial Walk- The wedded couple are led around the tetrapod (a small table in front of the Royal Door of the icon screen) by the priest to remind us that we should center our lives upon Christ who is present and speaks to us in the Holy Gospel.  The priest represents the Church as he leads the couple around the Holy Things. This brief walk comprises their first steps as husband and wife.  It is fitting that their life revolves around Christ.  A hymn to the Mother of God is sung as well as troparia to the Holy Martyrs who have received their wreaths of glory, that they may intercede for the couple before the Lord.

Honoring the Blessed Virgin Mary - Toward the end of the ceremony, the priest leads the Bride before the Icon of the Blessed Virgin Mary.  As the priest offers up prayers on her behalf, the Bride kneels in front of the Virgin Mary and presents her with a bouquet of flowers.  Here the Bride asks for her blessing and for God’s protection.

The Blessing -When the priest removes the wreaths, or crowns, he blesses the couple with these words: “Bridegroom! Be exalted like Abraham, blessed like Isaac and multiplied like Jacob, walking in peace and righteously doing God’s commandments.”  Then, “An you, o bride! Be exalted like Sarah, gladdened like Rebecca and multiplied like Rachel, being happy with your husband and keeping the precepts of the Law!”

The Recessional – With the singing of “Mnohaya Lita” (Mno-ha-ya Lee-ta– Many Happy Years) the Crowning service has ended.  The couple walk out of the church and into the world.  They do so with the prayers of their family and friends and the blessing of the Church.

The Wedding Reception – Besides sharing joy with family and friends, the wedding reception has two distince features that once again underline the dignity of the person and personhood.  The human being, created in the image and likeness of God, is a complete individual, an independent entity.  At the same time each person has a profound need for wholeness and completion of self in communion with another.  Awareness of self depends on relationship with others and self fulfillment can only be attained when one person faces another.  The married couple is the most intimate relationship from which flows the relationship to their immediate family and community at large.

Recognizing the personhood of the new union there are two distinct customs, one welcoming the newlyweds as they enter the reception room and the other, the sharing of the wedding bread by the newlyweds.  This entails two different breads.  Generally speaking bread is rich in symbolism – the Eucharistic bread, the staff of life, a summation of human toil and generosity, and more.

First to welcome  the just married couple are the parents of both, the bride and the groom. They blessed this union before marriage and now they welcome them with bread and salt and wine into their midst as a sovereign unit into their family and community.

The korovai – is the second bread.  It is an elaborate, large round wedding bread, symbolizing the sun and completeness of the union.   It is light and rich in texture, its top decorated with symbolic baked-on dough birds and barwinok (periwinkle – a symbol of love and purity)  the Korovai represents community, health and natures’s bounty.  The salt is a symbol of perseverence, and the wine – prosperity.   During the reception korvai together with the wedding icons  rests in a place of honor.  At the end of the reception the couple shares the korovai with all the guests.  It is an affirmation of  their place in the family and community by being generous hosts at their very first festal reception.

Darovania - After the bride and groom dance, the bridal party returns to the head table for the receiving line, or darovania.  Guest may take this opportunity to share their good wishes with the couple and join the bridal party in a tost.

Veil Dance – During the reception, the mother of the bride will replace her daughter’s veil with a kerchief, or chustyna – signifying the beginning of her married life.  The bride then dances with her bridesmaids and guests (placing her veil upon the heads of the single women).

Kolomeyka – Towards the end of the reception, the band will play Kolomeyka, which is a traditional Ukrainian dance.  It is an energetic dance signigying the joy of life and belonging to a community.  The guests form a circle as dancers enter the cneter to perform traditional Ukrainian dance steps.

A few years ago I was asked to say the prayer for my Cousins Wedding.  I thought wow, what an honor, how wonderful.  Then… I started to write and it was not easy.  I wanted to portray to my cousin and her now husband what I wish for them in the future.  I wanted it to be perfect of course.  So, for all of you who may be struggling I want to share my prayer. 

If you would like to share your prayer please contact us.

A Wedding Prayer

 Teresa and Shawn

8-25-07

Lord, we have gathered here today

To celebrate the love and commitment

That has united Terri and Shawn,

In a wonderful bond of marriage.

We ask that you bless this food that

We are about to receive with grateful hearts.

May your blessings descend also upon

These newly married spouses,

Their families and friends

Who join us here today.

We sincerely pray that you bless

Terri and Shawn

With a love to last forever.

In sickness and in health may they find your strength

In doubts and troubles may they see your light

May their love continue to grow with each new challenge

May they always find strength in each other

May they be blessed with children to keep their days and nights busy

And when the children sleep

And they look into each others eyes,

May they always feel what they feel today.

May they live each moment of each day for each other.

                                                    – Amen

(prayer written by: Nadene Woelfel)

Invitations

Do I need to make an appointment to look at invitations?

Appointments are not necessary.  We are open Monday – Friday 9:00 AM – 4:30 PM.  We are open on Saturdays 10:00 AM – 3:00 PM (seasonally).  You are welcome to stop in any time.

Do I need to pay at the time of ordering?

We require 50% of your order down to process and the balance at time of pick up.

What is the average cost of invitations?

Our invitation cost ranges anywhere from approximately $300.00 for 100, including accessory cards up to $1500.00. 

How long will it take to have my order for invitations processed?

Depending on your order the complete process will take up to 2 – 3 weeks.

Will I get a proof of my invitation before it is printed?

Yes, we always email or fax you a proof for complete verification and approval.  It is your responsibility to make sure the spelling and grammer are as you requested.

  How far in advance do I need to order my invitations?

You need to send them out 6 weeks prior to the wedding.  We need up to 3 weeks for processing your order.  Add in the time you expect to spend on addressing the envelopes.  This is the amount of time absolutely necessary.  Please consider ordering in advance as to avoid any last minute rush. 

How do I know what the response date should be?

Recommended response date is usually 2 -3 weeks prior to the wedding.  Make sure you check with the caterer on when they need their count by.  You can base your response date by the date your caterer needs to know the count. 

 Do I need to have a Reception card?  What is a Reception card?

A Reception card is not necessary. Although, it is traditional to have a separate Reception card.   The Reception card gives your guests the place and time of your Wedding Celebration/Reception.  The Reception card can be omitted if this information is indicated at the bottom of your Wedding Invitation. 

 How do I have the guests indicate dinner preference?

Dinner preference is indicated on the Response card along with the Respond by date, who is coming and how many.  Under this is your list of dinner choices with the comment, “please indicate dinner preference”.

 Napkins

How many Beverage/Cocktail napkins do I need to order?

The recommended amount is 2-3 napkins per guest.

What is the average cost of  Beverage napkins?

100 3 -ply napkins white/colored is approximately $23.00. This includes three lines of copy and a design or 4 lines of copy.

Can I supply artwork to be printed on the napkins?

Yes,  please see artwork specifications.  Black & white must be submitted.  No shading or screening.

How long will an order of napkins or other accessory products take?

All accessory orders need up to 5 business days to produce.  If you need an order quicker than this we will do our best to work with you.  A rush fee may be applied.